Whatever GTA… Whatever!

Dear GTA

We ended on bad terms last time. I got upset and stood you up. Well, I pulled myself together, came back, took the next mission and failed again. Thanks a lot GTA… thanks a lot!

It was a horrible mission, which for the first time had the cops involved. Man those little buggers drive really fast and come out of nowhere. I ended up surrounded, tried to run for it and they started SHOOTING at me! I only had two stars and they were shooting!? I thought they would just catch me and put me in their car, but nuh-uh no mercy for me. Needless to say, I was in shock. So yeah, I failed, but pulled it off the second try while sitting completely errect staring wide eyed into the monitor with a cold sweat… like participating in a Milgram obedience experiement.

Then you said to me “Hey, there’s a car race down the road. Get yourself a really fast car”. I have no idea which cars are better than others, I mean.. I can feel the difference in max speed, maneuverability and sound, but nah I can’t tell from just looking at them. It’s the same with guns, are they better the bigger they get?

Loggy told me where I could find the fastest car in the game, of course my face lit for a while, which is a lot for someone who’s not an engine enthusiast. And the fastest car was indeed fast and had a deep wroom to it, so the equipment didn’t fail – but the driver did, and GTA you even told me right up how much I sucked:

“LOSER” – Thanks a lot GTA… thanks a lot..

As usual I managed to bump the nice car instantly after getting it, I just can’t keep the cars undamaged, and it really annoys me. With all this pressure and fail, I nerdquit, drove the car off a hill, into the water and watched myself get “WASTED”. Whatever GTA.. whatever!

And that’s where my fair play ends, you see.. I’ve got a trick up my sleeve. You think you can just laugh and call me a loser whenever I fail, well listen up GTA, I know your secrets! Yeah, that’s right, I’ll cheat so I can try out the best guns and even your tank, and you can’t stop me!

Ha!

Your Grumpy Friend

– Ironyca Lee