Aka Ironyca Stood in the Fire – gaming blog
I found this thread on the EU PvP forum called “These are the people in your BG! Epic Thread!”, and it is really funny. It is actually a repost from the US forum, which you can find here. I’ve met almost all of the types listed, and I’ve definately been “The Knocker” myself, blowing people off of cliffs as a shaman can be very entertaining – I recommend it!
Anyways, I copied some of the ones I thought was funny, including some of the additional PvP types people were posting as well. Here we go:
Mr. Indestructible – He’s a lock wearing full Wrathful. Kill his pet? Never. Kill the lock? Never. Run? Too late. Have fun. Oh, and your trinket is down.
That Friggin’ Mage – You’re pretty sure that was his fourth consecutive iceblock.
The Arms Warrior – Who says warriors are hard to play? Don’t mess around with all that tedious stance switching. It’s simple. Hit Bladestorm. Do not hamstring. Wait at the graveyard for your cool down, repeat.
The Buffless – Heck no. Ain’t nobody’s gonna start up this here battleground until he gets his battleshout, kings, healthstone, and a paw.
Africa Is A PVP Server – That’s the name of their 5’s team. They were Gladiators last season. And the season before, but on entirely different toons. They’re grinding out this season’s new non-set epics. They hate doing it. They’re pissed. They’re all here. They will never be on your team.
Macroman – “GROUP1- GO LUMBERMILL, GROUP2-GO STABLES, GROUP3- HOLD FARM. . DO NOT FIGHT ON THE ROAD. HOLD THESE AND WE WIN.” Pure. Tactical. Genius.
Longshoot – You, a healer, a shadow priest, and a stealthed rogue are defending the stables. He’s the hunter rezzing, petless, at the Allied base. He’s sure that he can burst you all down, this time.
The Quitter – “OMG they’ve got 3 bases and we’ve only got 2!” “Just quit and let them win so we can get more honor.” This guy will likely die a virgin.
Thatonedude – Okay, so the point is to win and to do that you’ve got to kill the bad guys. But somehow, this punk has made it personal. Like, really personal. You’re seriously wondering where he lives and how you can find out.
The Motivator – “OMG YOU GUYS SUCK. SOOOO FAIL. Y DO YOU EVEN TRY? NOBODY EVEN GARDED THE FLAG ROOM.” Plays (you guessed it) a hunter. His stats for the game- 4 kills, 9 deaths, 97,000 damage.
The Unhealed – He’s the rogue, hunter, or warrior who utterly fails to understand that until he rolls a healer, he’ll never, ever get a heal. Screaming at the healers will effectively address this situation, right?
The Crushable – You just hit him for 6k with a white attack. You don’t recognize a thing he’s wearing, but you do know what a 19,000 health pool means. And you’re gonna run clear across the zone to find him again. And again.
AFK Guy – He’s working on the TPS reports, occasionally alt-tabbing to remove his inactive debuff. He’s at 125,000 honor today, and counting. Will eventually cause the Tattletale, above, to replace his keyboard. He’s the smartest guy here.
The Chicken – You are fighting a single enemy and he’s running towards you to help. Suddenly he sees other enemy approaching. “OMG 2v2 battle coming”. He keyboard turns his mount and runs away leaving you in trouble.
Try-Hard Guy – This player, usually Ret Paladins, will seek you out 1 one 1, get beat, try again, get beat, try again, get beat, then lay low. Will eventually return with 5 others, and spam /rofl and /spit on you as you die.
The Dispeller – He’s there somewhere, you cant see him but you know he’s there as the last of your 12 buffs vanishes.
Knocker – guy (ele shaman/boomkin/firemage) whos sole objective is to mount up to Eots bridge/ LM and thunderstorm/typhoon/Blastwave u off into oblivion over and over and over again.
“FOR THE HORDE” – This player will talk about how bad the Alliance is. His spelling will be awful.
And I’d add this one myself:
The Druid Flag carrier – He will grab the flag and take the speed buff in the tunnel. He is so eager to capture the flag and proud that he can run fast that he goes directly into travelform while yelling “DEFEND THE FC!!111”. He is the heroic druid flag carrier, always out of range, continously dying alone on the midfield, which of course are the non-teleporting healers fault.